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Kanada Dunnville Mudcats - Electromassage

Mired in a 5-game winless streak to open the new season, the Dunnville Mudcats have turned to team psychologist and former MLA Pierre Pettigrew for help. Pettigrew, who recently co-authored the controversial book Electromassage with former CIA Director George Tenet, believes his controversial therapy could help the struggling southern Ontario hockey club. Canadian civil rights groups responded angrily to the news, comparing Pettigrew's techniques with outlawed electroshock or worse, torture. Pettigrew, in conversation from his office, dismissed such criticism. suggesting that his theories are simply a form of stimulus "learning". "It's totally safe and effective," he said. "For players who show up and play effectively, post-game treatment is like a gentle humming". For those players who underperform, though, he referenced the increase in voltage as more of a "stimulant". Mudcat GM and President Paul Roedb broadly praised Pettigrew's therapy, saying, "We really think that Pierre is really on to something here".


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