新闻稿

"The Dunnville Police Department was called in this morning to investigate a suspicious death which occurred in the town's local hockey arena. We sent two of our officers to the scene early this morning and can confirm that a caucasian male, approximately 55 years old, was found dead on the premises. Although we cannot verify for sure the identity of the deceased man, it seems fair to say, considering the manner in which he died, that he was indeed the arena's janitor."

(Prepared statement read by Dunnville Chief of Police Bob Winslow this morning after reports surfaced that a suspicious death occurred in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Unverified reports coming out of the arena suggest that the deceased individual was the Blazer's team custodian, Archie Darrach.)

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