新闻稿

(The following is an audio cast from tonight's post-game press conference where Dunnville Blazer GM Paul Roedb reads a prepared statement from the organization in regards to intense questioning from local law enforcement officials and national media outlets concerning the rather strange order of press releases issued today. Dunnville's HR Department this morning released a congratulatory notice concerning new Arena Custodian Keaton Prendergast only 15 minutes before announcing the death of former Janitor Archie Darrach, whose mangled body was found in the early hours of Tuesday morning, tangled up in the wheels of the team's zamboni machine. Both press releases were issued before local police had arrived on the scene and found the deceased man.)

"<prolonged silence>
<rustling of papers>
<silence>
<unintelligible mumbling> ...'the time difference'.
<coughing>
<long, extended coughing>"

(Team attorney Ed Valentine can then be heard taking over the microphone and abruptly cancelling the remainder of the press conference.)

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