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Scuff annouced that, from today, no player who was weird-looking would be purchased from the transfer market.

"To be honest, the freaky-looking ones put the other guys off and maybe even the fans too" he mused.
"We'll continue to employ home grown mingers - it's the least we can do as an important part of the local community. But we have to stop importing them from elsewhere, or before long we'll be waist-deep in swivel-eyed hockey stars."

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