Sporočila za javnost

The Biznows organization is aware of the recent press release by the Royal City Redshit err Redshift and would like to address you, our fans. As you are aware, Royal City Redshift fans incited a riot following an early playoff exit for the Biznows. Following the incident, Redshift manager, Canucks357, can be quoted in a status update, offering up a number of "virgins" upon the rioters return. Unfortunately for Mr. 357, offering money, or reward for fans to commit horrific acts of civil disobedience is against the law. We will be seeking damages, our lawyer, Harry Chettman has been in contact with the Redshift.

Also, to our great fans, we have heard your outrage following two ugly defeats at the hands of the Redshift. We know changes need to be made. We sifted through your emails and posed some of your questions to General Manager Biznow:

1. What did you think about the reffing during those humiliating defeats to the Redshift?

"I have a couple of key points to address. Regarding the reffing, Brunner is not english for punch me or headlock me in a scrum" he continues, "I want to point out to the officials that Knut Brunner does not play for Royal City, it just looks like that because he's wearing two or three Redshift sweaters all the time ... I didn't know that tackling was an acceptable tactic, I didn't see it our in rule book ... "

2. Why didn't they call the Redshift for running our goalie?

"I don't know. Our goalie has large pads and a cage, he's clearly distinguishable from the rest of our players, and again he's the one goalie on the ice that doesn't dive when he gets brushed ... Royal City has 12 captains and assistants to speak to the officials; we find that unusual, most teams have only two or three. It's amazing to me the number of players that are able to protest calls in Redshift uniforms."

3. How will the Biznows adjust for upcoming games against the Redshift?

"We require, as a team, proper levels of pugnacity, testosterone, truculence and belligerence. That's how our team plays. I make no apologies for that. Our teams play a North American game. We're throwbacks. It's black-and-blue hockey. It's going to be more physical hockey here than people are used to."

4. What is the status of long serving d-man Bob Brayson?

"Hah, Bob Brayson, we're not going to kiss anyone's butt to play here. We have a beautiful arena, our own plane, and, again a great hockey market and one of the best cities in the world, so I'm not kissing anyone's behind to play here, that's just not going to happen. He wants out, I'm going to move him. There is no way Bob Brayson is going to be on this team this year, unless he flew to France during the off-season and bathed in the holy waters at Lourdes."

5. What made you decide to sign Axel Riera, and what is the condition of his knee?

“I'm not interested in adding names, I'm interested in adding hockey players. I signed Axel Riera because I think he makes us a better hockey team. We're anticipating he'll eventually play on our top six. Certainly, I'll be counting on him for top-six ice time and the power play down the line. I'm told his knee is fine. He struggled a bit in his last year in I.1 Germany. With the style we're going to play, he can play a number of years after this year. It's up to Axel. I made it clear to his agent we're certainly not looking at this as a one-year thing.”





*In honor of me "Burking" my team this offseason, answers are direct Brian Burke quotes, with only the names changed*

---

---