Novosti i izjave za javnost

The press (all 3 of them) quieten as Mutley, the new Owner/Director of the Jousting Giraffes appears and takes a seat at the presentation table, closely followed by the newly appointed manager Sol Halliday and Coach Leigh Kendrick. Having seated, Mutley makes a quick statement:

"Thank you all for coming on this Sunday evening. I'm sure you could have had better plans like watching tv or going to the pub, so I appreciate your time." At this moment, one of the press reporters gets up and heads towards the door. "I would just like to formally announce the inclusion of the Jousting Giraffes in the 30th season of the U.K. League 2 div 1 of ice hockey. We're glad to be here, and looking to make our mark."

"I would also like to announce the appointments of these two gentlemen. To my right, we have Sol Halliday, our new manager. He once managed to complete a paint-by-numbers book in 15 minutes, colouring in all 5 squares. We're lucky he was available at such short notice. And to my left, Coach Leigh Kendrick, distant cousin of Anna Kendrick. We are very much looking forward to 'bring your cousin to work' day. And now, I open up the floor for questions."

One of the remaining reporters raises a hand - "Where did jousting giraffes come from?" Mutley takes the microphone. "I saw giraffes hitting each other on the Planet Earth and thought they looked fierce. That, and and we wanted to be head and shoulders above our opposition." An audible groan spread throughoutt the room.

"Your team finished a measly 19th last year. What makes you think you can do better this time round?" Sol leans forward in his seat. "Because, mathematically speaking, the chances of us doing much worse are very low. One in twenty in fact. So we are bound to do better - it's practically guaranteed."

Mutley chimes in - ""And I spent loads of money on new facilities, so we better be good... Or we're broke!. Last question please."

"Your reserve goalie Dion O'Rouke has been listed as injured - any news on how it happened, and how it will affect your team in the first few weeks?" Leigh looks blankly, before taking the cue to answer the question. ""Dion was out for a jog when a woodpecker flew into the back of his head, fracturing his occipital bone. The local ornitholigist thinks he'll be out for about 17 days. It hasn't affected our training much, basically because we haven't done any. We just hope he recovers soon, and stays away from trees."

Mutley concludes "thank you all for coming, and we look forward to our first game tomorrow against storm wreck at home. Please come and cheer. First 350 fans get in free. And then we will have a full house!"

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