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(AP) Unable to sway PPM game officials to bring in a new staff entity for player psychological help, the Dunnville Mudcats have taken matters into their own hands by hiring former Liberal MLA Pierre Pettigrew as their new team psychologist. "Those %#$&#^@ at head office over there (Europe) wouldn't come to our aid so we dug down deep in our own pockets to get him. We're losing a lot of games and they (Mudcat players) are human beings, you know. They need to let out some negativity.", said GM and President Paul Roedb. Since losing his seat in 2006, Pettigrew has bounced around the country, doing odd jobs to help pay the bills. Added Roedb, "We felt that his slow, shuffling, backstabbing, kissing the guy upstairs' ass on his way up the ladder in Canadian government was the perfect model for our guys as we attempt to edge our way up through the second division of PPM hockey."

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