Tlačové správy

HADAEGIS – Aces management announced yesterday that forward Břetislav Prokop will be out for the next two weeks, suffering an injury that has been described as “bizarre” and “humiliating”.

Prokop and some of his teammates were working out in the second floor weight room at Hadaegis Memorial Auditorium when he jumped through the window and crashed to the ground below, fracturing his collarbone.

“I don’t know what his deal is,” said his linemate Joe Stone. “Said he wanted to prove that the glass was absolutely solid and would hold his weight even if he slammed into. We told him he was going to crash through because team management is really cheap, so that glass might as well be cellophane. Sure enough, he ended up face down in the muck below.”

After much facepalming and a hearty laugh, his teammates called for help. Prokop was taken to Hadaegis-Morley Medical Center, where it was revealed that he had fractured his collarbone. Head coach Edgar Caverly was very unhappy when he caught wind of the news.

“Bret’s a good player, but boy is he dumb. Jumping into a window? That’s Darwin Award territory right there. Not only is 23 his number, it’s also his IQ. Might have to wrap him up in bubble wrap next time he hits the ice. Perhaps push him to finally finish his high school education.”

Aces management did not make Prokop available for comment.

“The details aren’t flattering, but I want to protect my player from the vultures of the media,” said General Manager Arthur Brunswick. When asked if that was his real name, Brunswick replied, “Of course not! Why would I tell you my real name? You’d track me down at home and harass me relentlessly if I did that. Why are you asking me anyway? This is totally irrelevant. Get out of my office before I shove this shoehorn up your [expletive deleted]!”

Brunswick did not offer further comment, nor did the team.

---

Injury Report:

Břetislav Prokop is new to the Injured List. He fractured collarbone his collar bone on March 3, and will be fully healed on Saturday, March 17.

Bernie Schienpflug remains on the Injured List. He suffered a torn posterior cruciate ligament in his right knee on February 20. He will be fully healed on Tuesday, March 13.

Transcations:
The Aces bid farewell to longtime Aces Jan Gorenc and Albín Malák this week.

Gorenc had been with the Aces since the Inaugural Season, amassing 56 goals and 114 assists for 170 points in 125 career games with the Aces. He moves on to the Hockey Night Stars, in Czech Republic league V.90.

“Jan was a great player for the Aces for several seasons. We thank him for his service,” says General Manager Arthur Brunswick. “Now we can clear out his locker and install that full service bar… this comment is strictly off the record, right?”

Albín Malák had been with the Aces since Season 7, and was part of GM Brunswick’s first wave of impact market purchases. In 113 career games with the Aces, Malák tallied 86 goals, 124 assists for 210 points.

“I’m grateful to the Aces organization for giving me chance. However, I must say I am disappointed that Mr. Brunswick unceremoniously dumped me while I was injured. I would have liked to have stayed an Ace for my whole career.”

When approached with these comments, GM Brunswick responded, “Well, that’s his opinion. The reality is we have a lot of young players coming up through the ranks and I have to make room for them. They will be better players for us in the long run. If Albín wants to keep sucking his thumb, he can continue to do so on a team I don’t manage. Good riddance.”

Malák’s contract was bought by HK 0.5 BANSKA BYSTRICA in Slovakia league VI.11.

Meanwhile, the Aces welcome Earl Molitor to the team from the Sports Academy. “Pavel (Rozhkov, the Head Sporting director) told me he’s a decent defensive prospect. We’ll stick him on the B-Team and see how the kid fares. Put some hair on his chest.”

The Week Ahead:

The Aces start a two game home stand Monday when they take on the Canterbury Crusaders. The home stand is complete Wednesday when the Aces welcome the Boston Bruins All-Stars. Then our boys hit the road on Friday and take on the Boilermakers. All game times, as always, are at 11am CT, great seats are still available!

---

---