新聞稿

Sporting Directors Steffen Johnson and Stephen Vezina have been told to find employment elsewhere by the Redshift organization. The two 56 year olds have been with the club since season 3 and season 5 respectively. It has not been confirmed by sources within the organization, however word has it Steffen was caught with Stephen's wife. A simple mistake for such similar men.

First, their names are eerily similar. Then there's their age, also their image. Have a look! They look identical in their PPM profiles! However Vezina says his wife should have known when she saw (the) "Johnson" that it was not (his).

R.C. Spectra contacted Stephen who refused to comment. Steffen on the other hand issued a statement:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman! I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"

However, this paper admits it more sounded like a recording of a celebrity's voice.

For the time being, both directors find themselves looking for work. They have long organized top-flight training camps while getting the most out of the youth program in Guelph. Perhaps this will be a distraction for the media and fans from the early season woes of the Redshift and continuing woes of the Alphas.

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