新聞稿

As the party raged on, and more supplies of champagne and dancing girls were unloaded, Scuff managed to slur a few words about the side's first victory in II.
After careful listening to the tape, and removing all the references to being "bes' mates", this is what we think he meant

"I had some clever orders all set up, there was going to be intricate weaving play, lines being switched like lightning, tactics honed to a razor's edge. And then I forgot to implement them. In fact, I forgot to set them for the other match we took a point from too.
Clearly, I'm better off not thinking so much, so to help the team out, I'm going to kill some braincells with booze and Michael Bay films"

Scuff then proceeded to pour a triple gin, and chipped ice from the surface with a skate. Cheers!

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