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IV.3
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Dunnville Mudcats
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Rats in the Arena
Rats in the arena! Some damage was caused by rats in the arena and the exterminator had to be called. Fee - 10,050 Dunnville Maintenance Department (Re-issued announcement of the original sen...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Blood Brothers
"Jadranko has done a really good job. At his first practice Vel (Dunnville coach Veldin Augustinović) whispered something to him and the very next shift he followed Willie into the corner and be...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Beer and Health Day
Dunville Blazers hockey team and Labatts Blue are proud to announce the inaugural, "Beer and Health Day" this Thursday at the Dunnville Arena. All fans who attend the game can partake in th...
Dunnville Mudcats
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In-House Expert
"The guy looks like my wife's hairdresser! Why the hell would I waste 10 credits on that honey boy. Lisa (Personal Assistant, Lisa Kim) has hit it right, what, 80% of the time this year. ...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Dimwit Fans
"Our fans complained about the arena when we bought this franchise so we upgraded the facility to accommodate an extra 1,400 customers. We bring in exotic foreign teams for friendlies and we can...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Promotional Flop
"This organization is NOT a charity!" (Terse response to reporter questioning the team's disastrous attempt to increase home ice attendance for yesterday's game against Italian cl...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Winning Resume
(Responding to reporter's question regarding the rationale for bringing in highly penalized Croatian defender Jadranko Jenco for the remainder of the season.) "We felt we were a bit soft be...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Checkered Past
(Response to reporter's question as to whether recent departure of Personal Assistant Samantha Sweet due to allegations of sexual misconduct were part of a much larger pattern of behaviour, after...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Cold Hands
(Responding to reporter's question as to why local broadcasts from 14/08/13 caught him repeatedly placing his hand on Samantha Sweet's knee, leg and thigh during the home game.) "Arch (...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Sexual Harrassment
The Dunnville Blazers organization is disapointed to announce the resignation of Samantha Sweet for the position of Personal Assistant due to allegations of sexual harrassment. We feel that Samantha ...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Piles of %#*^
(Angry response to reporter's questioning decision to bring in perennial back-up Julio Guilamundgoli to shore up an already weak goaltending situation). "Look! I have four pieces of %#*^. ...
Dunnville Mudcats
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"Bleeding" the Fans
(Responding to a reporter's question that recent upgrades to the team's arena, especially snack bars and souvenir shops, amount to naked attempts to "bleed" loyal fans of their &q...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Misunderstanding
(In response to reporter's question regarding tough guy defenceman Will Leach's tendency towards high, dangerous hits on opponents' star forwards). "Willie brings a robust, physic...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Creating Illusions
(Quotation from recent interview for Better Management business weekly). "When taking over a faltering sports organization, it is important to create the illusion for local fans that the team is ...
Dunnville Mudcats
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Miroslav Arnost's Release
(In response to reporter's question about the impending release of starting goalie Miroslav Arnost) "The guy has a GAA of 8.14 and a SV% of 73.61. He wants a %1000 increase in salary and I ...
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