Press releases

HADAEGIS – The Hadaegis Memorial Auditorium had a new look this week, with the opening of three new sections of seats on the north side of the Aud.

“It felt like it took an eternity, but we now have 1,050 in additional capacity,” said GM Arthur Brunswick. “Our workers did such a wonderful job, they’re all getting free drink vouchers for the next time they buy a ticket to an Aces game. Now the Aud is starting to look more like a real arena and less like a cesspit.”
The excitement was just as palpable among the players as well.

“The addition of up to a thousand more fans a game is huge for us,” commented Aces captain Gábor Sárkány. “The extra fans will give us a real big boost going into games. It’s like my mother always said, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but polio will kill you.’”

Aces forward Břetislav Prokop added, “The atmosphere in the building has certainly enhanced. It really builds on the 7th man factor. Now if the fans would just stop snickering whenever I jump into the glass during a goal celebration.”

This is just the first phase of expansion for the Memorial Auditorium. When all is said and done, the Aud will hold 4,800 for hockey, and feature a brand new parking garage.

“It was time to build a parking garage. The side streets in the surrounding neighborhood are getting crowded on game nights and it’s just making a lot of people angry. I should know, I live in the neighborhood. It’ll be nice to walk down to the Aud for work in the morning and not see Old Lady Rumack brandishing her machete at me every morning. Now we just have to keep Bremer and his flipping Black Cats away from the new development. I swear, sometimes with that boy, it’s like we can’t have nice things.”

Brunswick offered no comment on other improvements, despite player complaints about ice and lighting quality, and the lack of any sort of working scoreboard within the Aud.

“Sometimes it’s like we’re wading through slush out there. It would be nice if ownership helped us out a little,” said Aces center Joe Stone. “Not to mention that the lighting is really bad in the corners, it’s easy to lose the puck. Also, is it necessary to have those fifth graders hold up the score on cards? There’s got to be some sort of child labor law against that.”

The Aces hope to have the complete renovation done by the end of next season.

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Injury Report:

Yegor Savitsky and Oleksandr Barchuk are both with collarbone fractures. Savitsky returns Monday, while Barchuk remains out until April 5.

“I don’t know what it is with this team and collarbone fractures lately,” commented head trainer Jasper Werner. “At least neither of them suffered their injuries by jumping out a window.”

Transactions:

GM Arthur Brunswick remained idle this week, and instead spent his week playing with the flight simulator in Google Earth.

The Two Weeks Ahead:

The Aces will face Team noname 53180 on the road Monday to start this week, then return home to face NY Strangers on Wednesday. The Aces will close the week on the road against ovechkin8/wideman6/nick19. Next week opens with a home tilt against the Butter Knives. Midweek brings a tough road battle against the Wiggly Pigs, and the week closes at home against the Tap-Dancing Monkeys. All start times are at 12pm CDT, great seats are still available for home games!

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