Press releases

GM Arthur Brunswick woke up from a month long nap in his office on Wednesday afternoon, and he was shocked to find that his office has been completely remodeled in the process.

“Everything just looks… new,” murmured a bewildered Brunswick. “Whose idea was this? And how much did it cost? I’m surprised my cheap owners opened their pocketbooks for this. I would have much preferred a raise.”

“We’re just glad he woke up,” commented center Joe Stone. “The team was worried that he might never wake up. Then our team would be forced to fold and we’d be stuck working as bartenders or, even worse, carnies. Nobody likes carnies.”

Stone, along with the rest of the team, started holding regular vigils over their slumbering GM. For some inexplicable reason, they started chanting “Kifflom” at random times.

“Yeah, that was my idea,” admitted Pat ‘Black Cat’ Bremer. “Some people might accuse me of playing too much Grand Theft Auto, but screw that! It just blows people’s minds that life begins with a firecracker in a Coke bottle.”

The remodeled office and the scent of Bremer's Black Cats wasn’t the only surprise waiting for Brunswick upon his awakening. Aces management had also chipped in on hiring 1970s disco star Barry Gibb as Brunswick’s new personal assistant.

“That was a real shocker. Not only did management manage to get Barry Gibb as my personal assistant, but he is surprisingly crass,” said Brunswick. “I asked him to fetch me coffee, and he threatened to turn my chords into dental floss. I asked him to help me scout our next opponent, and he accused me of thinking he was stupid and broke into a song about diseased monkeys. I think that talk show he’s been hosting has rotted his brain.”

No word on how long Brunswick can take the the threats of physical violence.

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Team Roundup

The season is over for the Aces, so there are no games on the schedule at current moment. GM Brunswick has been out of commission, so there are no new transactions either.

See you next season.

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