Press releases

(AP) Dunnville Mudcats President and General Manager Paul Roedb has again landed himself in hot water with league officials after attempting to sell personal assistant Lisa Kim to the highest bidder during the Christmas season. Advertised as a "Boxing Day Blowout Sale", Roedb posted several notices informing fellow game managers that long time helper Kim was available for purchase. PPM bosses quickly moved in and cancelled the proposed activity, drawing an angry reaction from the beleaguered boss at a hastily arranged press conference this afternoon. Responded Roed, "How the &Q$^# was I supposed to know!? You can sell players. You can sell staff. How the hell was I supposed to know that I couldn't sell her? They say 'Look in the guide.' Where does it say in the &Q^#ing guide that you can't sell your assistant?! Where does it say that!?" The Mudcat organization has been rumoured to be in financial difficulties recently mainly due to the ongoing investigation into the activities of team owner Mike D'Agostino, who is currently under arrest for alleged racketeering activities. PPM officials fined the organization an undisclosed amount for activities deemed, "Unacceptable, bringing the sport, the game and human rights in general into disrepute".

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