Press releases

(AP) Former Mudcat captain and all-time leading point getter Oldrich Olbrich has retired from the PPM world, just one day after being unceremoniously waived and unclaimed at the deadline for free agency. At a hastily called press conference at Mudcat headquarters yesterday, team GM and President Paul Roedb proudly proclaimed, "That &$%^ing guy is finally off of our team!" Olbrich, who captained the Dunnville squad through their early, difficult seasons had his C stripped after a string of poor performances and spent the last two seasons struggling to make the roster for friendly matches. Loved and adored by the Mudcat fans, he drew the ire of Roedb for being what the volatile team boss termed, among many colourful monikers, a "fat, &%$^ing floater" and "a piece of *$&# that I wouldn't waste a credit on to give him that nickname". Olbrich finishes his career in Dunnville with 318 goals and 734 points in 357 games and will "never on God's green earth" join the team's Hall of Fame, spat Roedb at the close of yesterday's press meeting.

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