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 Press releases: IV.3 (Canada)

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Canada Dunnville Mudcats - New Fan Club President
The Dunnville Blazers organization is excited to announce the installing of Philip Clark for the position of Fan Club President due to a resignation in disgrace. We feel that Philip Clark will bring ...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Shocking Photos
"I have never seen that tall guy in my life." (Unconvincing denial of involvement from Fan Club President Evelyn Richardson, who strongly resembled a woman shown involved in sexually explic...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Fan Protest
"We are NOT going to stop until that son-of-a-&#%$@ is out of our town once and for all!" (Fighting words from Blazer Fan Club President Evelyn Richardson, directed at team General Mana...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Leaked Timebomb
"The town of Dunnville represents the ultimate small market. Small market struggles with the attendance figures is our big challenge here. But what really makes this dump the ultimate challeng...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Fan Appreciation Night
All Fans, The Blazer's final home game of the season will be played this Wednesday, the 22nd of October against Canadian Division IV rival Rousey Mousey. In order to close the season for our ...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Case Closed
"The Dunnville Police Department has completed its investigation and is satisfied with its conclusion. Due to a lack of physical evidence and an appeal from the Darrach family this morning, we a...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - New Face on the Team
The Dunnville Blazers organization is happy to announce the hiring of Miriam Darrach for the position of Snack Shop Product Placement Manager due to a job vacancy. We feel that Miriam Darrach will b...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Archie Darrach Statement
(The following is an audio cast from tonight's post-game press conference where Dunnville Blazer GM Paul Roedb reads a prepared statement from the organization in regards to intense questioning f...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Suspicious Death
"The Dunnville Police Department was called in this morning to investigate a suspicious death which occurred in the town's local hockey arena. We sent two of our officers to the scene early...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Death in the Organization
The Dunnville Blazers organization is saddened to announce the departure of Archie Darrach, formerly of the position of Arena Custodian due to death. We feel that Archie Darrach brought great vision ...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - New Janitor
The Dunnville Blazers organization is thrilled to announce the hiring of Keaton Prendergast for the position of Arena Custodian due to a job vacancy. We feel that Keaton Prendergast will bring great...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Inside Hockey with Michael Landsberg
(Except from recent episode.) Landsberg - You complain a lot about your team's home attendance numbers. Roedb - Yeah. Part of this is due to local stupidity but I think most of it is becau...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - My Kind of Team
"That's more like the kind of team I envisioned when we first came to Dunnville. Outplayed, outhustled and completely outworked by the opponent but in the end a couple of scratchy, sh*@ty g...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Fan Development Night
All Fans, Please circle next Sunday, October 19th as a "must" for attending the Blazer's home encounter with Canadian club team Exceleration as the Dunnville Blazers organization wil...



Canada Dunnville Mudcats - Sexual Behaviour
(Response to reporter's question asking if he felt that Blazer's Fan Club President Evelyn Richardson's assertion that he is sexist was accurate.) "You bet I am sexual! You shou...